Super Irving

I decided to go visit my old area, and the old coffee shop. I got to see the old ninja guy in my old building. Why is everything old?

I stopped in the coffee shop and my favorite cashier was there. Being a big city boy, I finally got up the courage to talk to her. I told her how I worked in a coffee shop and I told her everything I know about coffee. Turns out, she's just doing this job for the money to get through school, and she really couldn't care less about coffee. I'm thinking that was probably a bad opening by me. She did smile a few times, but it may have been more of a nervous smile.

Since, she probably was the only real person I came down here to see(besides the old ninja guy)I pretty much drove the five hours home right after that. I drove 10 hours for a cup of coffee which I dumped out anyway. I really don't like coffee very much anymore.

Okay, that title sounds a lot better than the reality of what happened. I was at work. In case I haven't mentioned it, I now work at a coffee shop. I can always go back and visit my favorite coffee shop cashier and go over the finer points of frappuccino. But I digress... I was at work when I got a call that my neighbor's water heater exploded and my apartment was probably being flooded with water. Maintenance tried to get in, and my loyal, but misguided dog wasn't letting them. I'm guessing she chose drowning over being pet by a stranger.

I got home, and they fixed the carpet, so all is fine. Wasn't that exciting? I've been lying low the last few days. I think the people in the apartment building are onto me, so I have to keep a low profile, or make a damn suit already. I'm too nervous to stop any real crimes while I'm not wearing colorful, skintight spandex.

No, I did not fight Godzilla. This is the real world. I'm just bored today so I'm watching a Godzilla marathon on my PS3. I'm currently watching the Japanese version of King Kong Vs. Godzilla. Awesome! I know I probably didn't need to blog about this, but my blogs have definitely slowed down lately as I've been a little under the weather. Super powers don't stop the common cold. I guess nothing does. Oh well.

I finally have internet! I thought they were slow in the suburbs in getting you hooked up, but this was ridiculous! I couldn't get to the Yoville factory to get paid in days! More importantly, I couldn't fill you in on everything that happened over the weekend/early week.

I was right, there is a LOT more action in the city. I stopped my first real city crime on Saturday night. A guy, and I so saw it coming, snatched a little old lady's purse. Her grandson was with her, but he was a wimp who wouldn't do anything. He was also only about 9 years old, so I won't bust on him too much. The guy ran down an alley and thought he was in the clear. He was going through her stuff looking for the money when I made my move. I picked him up by the collar and looked him in the face and yelled at him for stealing from the little old lady. The lady caught up with us at that time and started kicking the guy. Then she started kicking me too. She was a pretty feisty old lady. I think she thought I was working with the guy. I explained that I tracked him down and caught him for her, and she kicked him in the shin one more time, thanked me, gave me a dollar and took her purse as she left.

This brings me to my new idea... why should superheroes always have to work for free? I can charge for my services. Who the heck are they gonna look for when a super villain tries to take over the entire city? Hello... Super Me! Then I'll be rolling in the dough. I haven't come up with a good name yet. I figured once I settle on a costume design, that will come naturally.

I've been busy packing up all my crap and getting ready for the move today. It's about a 5 hour drive, and I have my Uhaul, so I'll get moving soon. Luckily, I don't need anybody to help me, because I can carry everything out to the truck myself, and probably in about 30 seconds. I'll have to go a little slower than I'd like as to not arouse any suspicion. I don't have a costume yet. Some nice lady on twitter tried to help me with suggestions, but I honestly didn't understand any of what she was talking about.

I heard that twitter is so last year, and even possibly so 2 years ago. Is this true? Why do I only jump on bandwagons way after the ship has sailed. I think I'm mixing metaphors or something but I'm a superhero, not a writer. There's a lot of awesome celebrities tweeting still. Even a Carrot Top impersonator. He has been pretty quiet as of late though.

I'm moving to the city. I got a job there doing photography for the Daily Bugle. Just kidding. I'll really be stock boy at a warehouse just outside of the city, but I'll be actually living IN the city. I have a feeling things are gonna pick up now. I'll definitely see more action, both with women and criminals. I'm a little nervous. I've never lived in a city before. I hear good and bad things. Well, at least most of the people I hear from(probably all but what do I know?) don't have my amazing abilities. I sound so egotistical when I say that. Oh well.

I am going to miss the cashier at the coffee shop. Oh well... it's not like she even made eye contact with me when she gave me my change. I tend to obsess a little.

Well, the Left Hand store closed today. Nobody warned me, I just showed up and the door was locked with a closed forever or something like that sign stuck to it. I shaved for nothing. Speaking of that... shaving is much tougher for some reason when you're a virtually indestructible man of super powers. Beard hairs are much more difficult to convince to shorten up. I had to get a Gillette Quattro. Highly recommended for other superheroes.

It's things like that that people don't realize about being "blessed" with extraordinary powers. Don't get me wrong... if someone shoots me, I'll be thrilled to be tougher than most. I just wish I didn't need a chainsaw to cut my toenails.

Back to the store... I need a job now. I may become a street performer or go into an arm wrestling tournament. Hey, that's a pretty good idea. I doubt they have any around here. I'll have to look for one. One that's for money, and not for beer.